You sneak a look into the paediatric cubicle you just walked out of. You take off your glasses, clean them on your white coat, and have another look. Well, there seems to be no doubt about it - that is definitely the ugliest baby you have ever seen. Ever.

The ugliest baby in the world also came with two matching accessories - the stupidest parents in the world ever. She was brought in by her (comparatively normal) grandmother with multiple episodes of bright pink projectile vomiting.

Finally bridging the language gap with the parents (ie. you speak a language - they don't) you discovered that they ran out of baby formula at home, and the kid was crying, so some Strawberry Milkshake from the drive-through seemed like a good alternative. You tried to tell them that adoption was a good alternative, but the language barrier...

Just then your pager screams at you: 'Drama Queen to the Recess Room - Drama Queen to the Recess Room'. Looks like the baby's parents have a cousin working the switchboard...